17 Jun 2009, Posted by jay rusovich , 5 Comments
Mating in Captivity: Does good intimacy always make for hot sex?
“Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.” — Lori Petty
“I like feeling that something is at risk. That the woman might have an affair or a fleeting liaison because she can’t control her urges. And by urges I’m talking about the same urges that drive men to sex. A hunger hunger they can’t ignore because it won’t let them.” — Anonymous
“They have a beautiful, intimate, loving relationship [they communicate]; and , according to this view, that should form the basis for sustained desire. But it doesn’t. And if it’s any consolation to them, it doesn’t work this way for a lot of people.” – Esther Perel
Just for the hell of it, let’s assume the sexes are different. I know this is a stretch, but indulge me. At the very least, it could spare you a manslaughter conviction.
With this in mind, we all know egalitarianism is an illusion.
If anything, it’s re-packaged nihilism.
I do run into some resistance with this theory, but I stay the course, because I know it’s true no matter how much the women in my immediate vicinity have had to drink.
So on one side of the ring we have a woman armed to the teeth with intimacy, a weapon that bears down on its victims like a Gatling gun.
On the other side of the ring, a man sits with both hands on his cock.
They both want the same thing, but differ on how to achieve it.
This is the fundamental distinction between the sexes, and why equality – in the context of Western feminism – is just a pipe dream.
For men, too much verbal intimacy is dangerously overwhelming. Men cannot absorb love without some absence of conscience, which this level of deconstruction renders moot. I’m not saying that men operate best when they’re clinical sociopaths, but their emotions must flow freely and raw.
For women, this brand of freedom smacks of life unhinged, of men being emotionally reckless, irresponsible and opportunistic.
In fact, the opposite is true, but it’s hard to make the case without at least 5 milligrams of Xanax.
This notwithstanding, men know this feeling well. It paves the way for love. It enables them to move forward in their relationships. It frees them to surrender, without hurting themselves or their lovers, because they can’t love when they’re also trying to preserve.
Is this making sense?
A man must conquer, without regret or indecision, and this is how he does it. He simply can’t stand in the ring with intimacy in his arms. He stands with what he knows, not with what he has to decipher.
And when he can risk falling without worrying about where or how he lands, he is ready.
Mating in Captivity covers these points somewhat differently, given the fact that it’s coming from a female psychologist. But if I had to lay odds on the outcome, I’d say she and the man have a future.
