Posts Tagged ‘older men/younger women’
Eventually you reach the chronological point where you can no longer approach young women without eliciting a 911 call.
I know this is tough to handle.
But the fact that you’re still living life the way you did 20 years ago doesn’t mean everyone else is also stuck in suspended animation, not that I’m judging your perennial adolescence or anything.
The fact of the matter is aging nails all of us eventually.
But the real problem with it [in this context] is that it doesn’t come with a notice in the mail.
It just happens, and there you are wandering around like an idiot.
It’s a tough adjustment, I grant you. And accepting it does require a certain level of maturity, even if you think you can afford not to.
I talk a lot about leverage assets in the middle years, and this is a prime example of where it can help.
When you accept the fact that youth [as you once knew it] is gone, and that you are now a commodity at, for example, a gallery opening, you have a much better shot at meeting someone who is also there under the pretense of art.
You are no longer the young man with endless promise, but rather a fully assembled automobile that people will appraise as such.
So choose the right color combos, strike the right engine notes and hope someone is willing to run a test drive based on what they see, because that’s all there is as far as they’re concerned.
You can work on the rest later.
In more affluent demographics, female trainers are the most sought after commodities in the human food chain, particularly for middle-aged men.
Why wouldn’t they be?
A prerequisite for employment at most upscale health-clubs is a college degree in something like Kinesiology.
So they’re educated, which is more than you can say for most strippers.
Second, they’re super ridiculously fit, unlike most wives.
And third, they have healthy lifestyle habits, so [in your mind, anyway] you won’t have to chase them down at nightclubs and pool parties at 3 in the morning.
The fantasy is a supercharged version of the woman you met at Dartmouth 25 years ago. An upgrade from the standard 6-speed to PDK with more horsepower and better suspension.
All female trainers in these environments are keenly aware of this fantasy and leverage it like a hammer of the gods.
This is why the lion’s share of clients for these women are men over 40 — and sometimes women who want to save their marriages.
Postscript: The types of men and women trainers attract has everything to do with presentation.
Trainer Stereotytpes and the Clients They Attract
1] Super hot 25 – 32 year-old female.
Clients: Men over 40
2] Chiseled man of color with attitude.
Clients: Attractive young females who know he knows how to get them in the kind of shape they want to in in to attract men like him…or him as the case may be.
3] Male or female bodybuilder.
Clients: Men and women interested in sculpting and putting on some mass.
3] Older male or female trainers without no other agenda than keeping their clients out of emergency rooms.
Clients: Normal, well-adjusted men and women over 40 who see the big picture rather than a subplot.
When a “normal, well-adjusted” young woman sees an older man dating someone her age [or is hit on by an older man], she often dismisses the move as “creepy.”
But none of this has anything whatsoever to do with the man. It’s the woman’s frustration with her own personal life.
She’s either single and frustrated, or unhappy with someone in her life, and hopes this kind of thing doesn’t become a routine.
She’s trying to protect her space in time from outside interference.
If I told you I didn’t understand this reaction I’d be lying. I did the same thing as a young man when trying to defend my world from older affluent men who seemed to come and go at will with women my age.
I wasn’t there yet, and there was nothing I could do about it.
It was what it was, and I couldn’t afford to compete.
As for the women who refuse to consider it as a viable alternative to younger men, the following applications of “creepy” are as follows:
1] Young women use it against their fathers for dating women their age — and against their fathers’ friends who hit on them.
2] Older women use it against older men who won’t date them because they’re no longer young.
3] Feminist yoga Nazis use it against men because any weapon against men is a good thing.
This is the backlash all older men face when bucking the system.
It’s also blatant discrimination, sanctioned by all women for the reasons enumerated.
All men are fair game. Not that we haven’t always been the scapegoat for all of the world’s nightmares. Thank God we don’t have menstrual cycles or the shit would really hit the fan.
You definitely do not want to fuck with testosterone.
Just let us buy into our own delusions for a solid week every month and there would be nothing left to talk about.
So back to the “creep” thing, if dating women half our age is “creepy” then tell younger women to stop dating us.
There are many reasons they do it, including the ones you imagine, so stop wasting your breath.
Do women actually think age-appropriate relationships come with money back guarantees?
Check out the latest divorce statistics — or how about the number of single women running around with kids they can’t afford because their age-appropriate husbands got sick of their emasculating bullshit and moved to another state under an assumed name.
Cry all you want. Men will take what’s available because it’s in our nature. It’s what we do and who we are, and just because women resent it doesn’t mean it’s going anywhere.
When women hand their bodies to us in the name of feminist egalitarianism, we take the bodies and forget about what the hell it’s called. All we see is availability…and now we’re opportunists; soulless scumbags with no moral compass bordering on the sociopathic.
Hey, it’s not our fault that Oxytocin doesn’t run rampant in our bloodstreams.
The regret drug. Oops. Didn’t think feelings would play a role in rough play, did you?
Frankly, it’s time all women took a long, hard look at what they’ve created.
Yes, this is their world, the one they carved out in the name of equality and then hammered over our heads for 5 decades.
So this is what hammering us over the head for 5 decades looks like…
Adam Bernaert – “Vanitas” Still Life
In its modern sense, vanity is considered a form of self-idolatry, in which one rejects a higher power for the sake of one’s own image.
Is this a slam dunk in this world or what?
Let’s look at the situation for what it is:
Baby Boomers have taken control of America.
Older affluent men now own 2 or 3 women, while older affluent women own a pool boy, a college kid, and somebody “between 22 and 25″ they met on match.com.
Single young men and women with abnormal and maladjusted future prospects.
Money in the hands of a generation that literally redefined “self” is now at the helm of a ship that won’t survive another 50 years.
Vanity is at the heart of it when you feel empowered to buy and sell people like junk bonds.
Status obsession, materialism, ego and consumerism stand as substitutes for humanity.
Our lives become defined not by our productive thoughts, social contributions and good will, but by “a superficial, delusional set of associations with the very fabric of our society that now radiates cheap romanticism, connected to vain competition, conspicuous consumption and neurotic addictions often related to physical beauty, status and superficial wealth,” observed Peter Joseph in Culture in Decline: Culture-Vanity Disorder.
Everyone is bought and sold and sold again to the next bidder in line. And for a millennial generation without jobs, you can see where opportunism and vanity spawn a New World Order of irreconcilable decline where the here and now is all there is…or will ever be.
Now I’ll shut up.
To keep things real, I thought I’d drop a quick note about this Celebrex ad.
As you can see, the guy on the right is supposed to fit the profile of a typical middle-aged man: Receding hairline, the obligatory sweater [sweaters soften men up physically and emotionally], and of course, the age-appropriate dance partner just to let you know he’s normal and well-adjusted.
But as the ad progresses you see him dancing with the instructor [seen in the background], and if you were to tune in at that exact moment you would assume she was his wife.
This is reality.
Unless the man has been married for 30 years to the woman they cast as his wife, she’s not his freaking wife!
I laugh every time I see this crap.
If I were casting this I’d swap the women’s roles and men would be buying all the Celebrex they could get their hands on.
Well-adjusted my ass.
George Gilder observed in 1974 that the chief beneficiaries of the 1960s sexual revolution would be “older men with exceptional wealth, fame and power like Hugh Hefner.”
These men can leave their older wives for younger trophy wives as in the movie “First Wives Club” and keep younger mistresses (as Hugh Hefner did for years), thus dominating at least two or more younger women.
Gilder noted that the “hoarding of women was denounced long ago by Marxists countries from China to Cuba have been puritanical about sex because they see the inequality of the sexual revolution, where the rich, powerful and charismatic bourgeois hoard the younger women to the detriment of the proletariat.”
Even the communists knew that young fatherhood should be strengthened and protected. Instead of envying Hugh Hefner or Larry King, capitalist America should be warning against such behavior, he argued.
He observed that when you have older men (median age 40) abandoning their older wives once they are past their peak child-bearing years and remarrying younger second wives (median age 30), there is a major rupture of the social system, as older women and younger men end up single.
Brad Wilcox of the National Marriage Project added that many younger women are also unwilling to marry less successful men their age.
With both of these trends, younger men (who should be marrying and having children who will one day support the social welfare net with their paychecks) are on the losing end.
Women begin to see the dark side of 60′s feminism, which reminds me of a recent video of a Great White Shark sticking its head into a submerged cage filled with paying spectators.
When women begin to mirror male behavior they trigger things in men that are better left to the deep seas. Needless to point out, one of the manifestations is sexual gluttony, which is then followed closely by irresponsibility tied to fatherless homes.
So women marry up, while young men get laid and live under bridges.
I can’t count the number of guys my age [middle-age] who have young women on cash-only retainers — And don’t think the supply lines aren’t endless.
Since wealth among a certain demographic of Americans is through the roof, it stands to reason that their behavior would reflect this economic reality.
Just ask Madonna
Guys. Please. Listen up.
If there are rules at all, one of them has to be something along the lines of don’t be idiots.
Never hit on a couple of 30-something women in an upscale steakhouse, unless they’re in red 6-inch patent leather stilettos with chrome toes.
The rest have an agenda, and they’ll let you know if they have any interest in bringing you into the deal.
I know it’s frustrating.
I know you think they’re just being coy and that it’s your responsibility to be the man and step up to the plate.
I also know about all the stories you’ve heard that contradict what I’m saying.
But you’re going to end up on the plate if you try to pull this maneuver.
If you still insist on giving it a shot, at least offer some form of barter, like goats, for example.
Say something like, “I have six good goats I am willing to barter in exchange for an evening of pleasure with you.”
Women can respect this.
It’s honest. It’s direct. It’s non-confrontational.
Of course, you’re suggesting that they’re prostitutes, but so what?
You’re also putting yourself in the subordinate position of having to present a dowry to boost your subprime value. The self-deprecation will be appreciated. You’re willing to openly admit that their value is greater than yours, which they already know based your behavior.
Okay. Not bad. So you’re not delusional. That’s good. There’s promise here.
This is one way to avoid being perceived as a complete idiot.
The other is to enjoy your steak, mind your own business and leave a 20% tip.
If a woman is interested, she’ll let you know, believe me. She’ll even follow you out the door.
In the end, she’s the hunter until you get her into bed. Then, for an hour or two, you can lay waste to her before dealing with the stalking for the next three months as you try and have an actual relationship with someone else.
Understand that a man never conquers a woman. He just forces her to shift strategies at his expense.
By the time you reach middle age and your off hours are spent cavorting with women in and around big cities, just know that motive generally supersedes lust.
In other words, while some will express an interest in getting to know you, it may have more to do with your spending habits.
With this as a backdrop, might I suggest you sink your teeth into the following before your penis hijacks your life:
1] Her full legal name.
Notes: This is easier said than done when you’re dealing with people who have things to hide, like identity, which eludes even them with so many aliases over so much time.
Nonetheless, no matter what they tell you, if the information doesn’t check out on paid Internet database searches, you already know anyway.
2] Her place of birth.
Notes: If she tells you she’s from an obscure town in the middle of nowhere and you’re on a date with her in the middle of Los Angeles, you’ll want to know what she’s doing in Los Angeles. If it’s not a corporate transfer, it’s dirt.
3] Her family of origin.
Notes: This is a sensitive subject for some given the vagaries of loose genetics, but you want to know what her parents do [or did] for a living? Their divorce status. How many times? Siblings? If so, what do they do, and where?
It’s amazing to me how many divorced friends go out on dates with women they know nothing about, but are convinced they’ve finally found THE ONE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH. There are also bones in the rough, which people keep digging up without suspicion because a perfect round ass triggers an automatic suspension of disbelief.
Notes: Does she have a college degree? If so, was it obtained online, or did she physically attend classes at Dartmouth? I know women with multiple degrees from top universities who got in with a credit card and an Internet connection.
5]Facebook or other social media profile [s].
Notes: You will need their usernames if for whatever reason [s] they use a non-du plume, which is not uncommon with women who have stalkers, including ex-husbands who want their kids back.
6] Employment status and company name.
Notes: “Between jobs” is a red flag unless they have a game plan that sounds like something other than an improvisation.
Non-Red Flag: I recently lost my job in Human Resources at ABC Tool Company due to downsizing. But they gave me a great severance package and letters of recommendation.
Red Flag blowing in hurricane force winds: I was tending bar while attending community college in Florida and the next thing you know I was here.
7] Physical mailing address.
Notes: “Between addresses” is a red flag unless they’re in a witness protection program or a stripper. Most people have physical addresses, unless they just moved to a new city, in which case they already have a place to stay before they find a place they want to live, so find out where they’re staying – and with whom.
Notes: If they say something like “skiing in Aspen,” it’s the same thing as giving you a fake name, unless their parents have a home in the area, which is doubtful and why you need to ask before you end up like the rest of the men in their wake.
9] Cultural literacy.
Does the name Shakespeare mean anything to you?
10] Clinical diagnosis.
Note [s]: Some women will just come out and tell you they’re bi-polar as though it gives them relevance and charm. Others will flip the conversation and insinuate that you’re the psychopath. With crazy people you never know where the shit’s going to fly, and since cities are crazy magnets, you’re always at war on some level.
Disclaimer: I’m no longer in this war.
Now I’m now an observer who once fought it for more years than I can count.
I also received more purple hearts than I care to remember.
A few bullet points to consider:
1] Young women resent being hit on by men their father’s age, even in a world where said men are dating women their age, including their own fathers.
2] Middle-aged women resent being ignored by age-relevant men who look like Pierce Brosnan — and with similar levels of wealth.
3] Young men resent having to compete with men twice their age and 200 times their net worth in dollar bills.
Everyone’s pissed and confused because everything that was supposed to happen a certain way is not happening at all.
Normal, well adjusted college women will never see any of this unless their dads bring home one of their classmates — to live at the same house.
As for middle aged women, they’ll harvest from the readily available pool of college guys that want great sex without having to act on their Internet perversions with women they want to marry.
And young men no longer have unfettered access to sex on demand because now they have to do battle with older men who can outspend them in a world that values materialism over everything else.
There’s good and bad, but somebody’s gotta recalibrate the numbers.
You reap what you sow. Knock off the bitching.
Feminism was a beautiful disaster: Inevitable and utterly demoralizing to gender relations.
Blame my generation if it makes you feel better — the Boomers, the dickheads who set everything ablaze with angst and fury and righteous prose.
And after the angel dust settled we turned our backs on everything we stood for because, as it turned out, we liked money and fame and celebrity and materialism after all.
So now the kids today are living with the scars; the entitlement, narcissism, and ever-elusive fantasies.
This was particularly bad for men, because today masculinity is a plague with anti-virals in every media domain.
Young men are left to feed when they’re hungry, and then go back to the web when it subsides because there isn’t anywhere else to go.
Okay, I’ll shut up.