What I love about Eva Longoria and Jessica Alba is that they are physically attractive, and therefore, fun to look at.

What else really matters in the absence of a one-on-one? Their job is to entertain me, and they rarely disappoint.

Does the fact that they tout their physicality suggest intellectual vacuity?

I don’t know, and I don’t care.

We all leverage assets at our disposal.

Why waste?

Where there’s demand, there’s supply. And if you’re not willing to hand it over, someone else will. Make up your mind. There’s a line of people behind you.

Alba and Longoria are highly successful players in a human food chain where assets are routinely – and consciously – leveraged against liabilities, which means the results are usually a good bet.

Hollywood knows all about this, which is why it scripts out of both sides of its mouth, cashing in on whatever the hell the message happens to be in the name of entertainment.

Rappers get away with this crap all the time under a similar pretense.

It’s all business.

You think it’s about altruism?

Are you freaking high?

How the hell are they going to shop at Whole Foods or buy mansions above Sunset or pick up hookers at The Peninsula if they don’t make a ton of cash?

Please note that the addiction is also politically bipartisan, if this makes you feel better.

Hollywood objectifies women for two reasons:

#1] Because it always sells.

#2] Because they know that women themselves are it’s biggest advocates, in spite of the shrill cries from aging feminists who’ve run out of hard assets.

Little girls learn to value beauty because it’s indisputable.

And even women raised to value things other than looks and money still make damn sure they’re in top physical condition when it comes time to land – and keep – a successful man.

Everyone plays the same game because there is no other game.

Once you can afford it, you can paint life any color you want.

I personally like the sky blue towels and pink bikini.