“The sphere in which the signs of self-obsession are perhaps most obvious, and the consequences most immediately felt, is the dating one…”
When I started this web-log in May of 2007, pathological narcissism amongst older women was one of my primary motivating influences. I was single – more or less – at the time and out in the food chain alongside everyone else in my particular situation. And believe me when I tell you, it wasn’t pretty.
Needless to say, when I ran across this article, written just two years after my first essays on the subject, I decided to revisit the plague I continue to hear about from single men on the streets.
Here’s a teaser: “I’m a 42-year-old woman; independent, smart and sexy. I’m seeking a handsome, successful man between 28 and 38 who is interested in having one beautiful child with me.”
Can you say, delusion?
I know a 42-year-old “drug rep” who has a document on her Ipad containing a list of mandatory line-items for the men she dates.
The last number is 22,328, if this helps.
When I was single, these were the types of women I encountered every day of my life: “Age-appropriate” narcissistic sociopaths with no interest in anyone who didn’t fit an exacting set of standards, in spite of the fact that they themselves had nothing whatsoever to bring to the table other than an in-depth working knowledge of Facebook and Match.com.
Every night for them was another Match date, another fuck, another line of bullshit, until the process started all over again and they were back where they started; sizing up the barstools and making another run at the fantasy.
There were times when I was convinced that these women were really sexual predators couched as love-starved romantics. They were feeding like young men, savagely and without feeling or remorse.
One woman told me she liked variety, another freedom, and still another the ability to control her own destiny. But in the end it’s the same damn thing: Another excuse to fuel the “me” addiction.
For you guys out there who think you can just ask out any age-appropriate woman because she’s got a degree and a nice ass, think again. They have redefined the playing field.
They expect – and feel entitled to – younger, better looking, richer, more handsome, more devoted – whatever – even if they themselves aren’t particularly attractive or interesting or accomplished in any way distinguishable from the rest of the flotsam and jetsam that make up the lion’s share of the demographic.
There is absolutely no question that a kind of psychosis has taken hold of these women and distorted their perceptions of self.
Blame it on feminism, or the Internet, or whatever the fuck you want. The fact remains that narcissism has reached epidemic proportions among older, perenially single women.
It’s not that men their age – or older – won’t date them, it’s that they won’t date these men.
No more to story.
They’re not interested.
And I’m talking about women who aren’t even that attractive with preposterous expectations they will never, ever fulfill.
They are the very women who bitch about older men dating younger women, which is nothing more or less than a reaction to reflections that don’t validate their narcissistic delusions.
And if you did somehow find a way to date one of them, most of your time and resources would be spent supporting their weekly therapy, pharmaceuticals and yoga habits.
And it wouldn’t stop here, because you would also have to fall in line their insane social calendars, in spite of the fact that you’re footing the valet and dinner bills.
And for what?
So some guy at a hotel doesn’t mistake the woman in your company for your daughter?
It’s not worth it.
These women are fully prepared to kill you in your tracks when you do it, but would otherwise have no interest in dating you even if you were available because they’d rather be at the same damn hotel doing the same damn thing.
This ilk of woman has become a nightmare for any man who wants to live out a full, healthy life.
They are mankind’s new crucible.
Hello! It’s not the economy, stupid.
No longer are these women reasonably balanced and reasonably happy and reasonably loving.
Now they’re totally imbalanced to the point of hallucination; happy only after discovering new fuel sources for their narcissism; and loving in the way wild animals are loving as long as they’re well fed…and caged.
One man wrote … “I’ve never come across such massive egos, such arrogance and such lack of basic courtesy…”
And by the way, the adjectives keep piling up the longer you’re in the fray.
Successful older men have always been inclined to trophy hunt. And while narcissism may be a component of this behavior, at least these men have something to hang their hats on; something I can’t say for the drug rep — or whatever the hell it is she says she does to make herself feel better…