Susan Broom, 48, says she has given up on online dating because men her age wouldn’t contact her.
This article from The Guardian focused on a middle age woman’s personal blog [planktonlife.com], which bemoans the fate of older women struggling to find love in a world that no longer sees them.
“I am,” she wrote, “a plankton on the food chain of sexuality and the prospect of a relationship.”
Unfortunately for her, she’s right.
She is a “plankton on the food chain of sexuality and the prospect of a relationship,” if you like keeping truth on the lighter side.
The article goes on to point out that “eight out of 10 women over 50 think they have become invisible to men. Seven out of 10 women in the study felt overlooked by the fashion industry, while three-quarters of women in their 60s believed they had lost their identity by being labeled a mom.”
Again, all of this is accurate. These particular survey subjects are not delusional, like many others in their demographic.
So with all this angst in the air, why exactly do middle age women feel so invisible?
I don’t know…why do middle age men [without money] feel invisible no matter what the hell they look like?
The short answer is that older people begin to feel invisible when they expect more from life than it can deliver. Or more specifically, when they lose the ability to attract people they’re attracted to.
But life is a balancing act; a meticulous weighing of assets against liabilities which yield a net result.
So the older a woman becomes the farther away she drifts from her physical ideal, which means her assets take a hit and her net value slides.
Nature is constantly screwing people with delusions, so its best to put the cards on the table in years, cash, beauty, and baggage — rather than hopes, dreams, fantasies and straight razors.
Becoming more strident as it went straight to hell, the article asserted that “45 and 55 year old women are at their sexual prime, more sexually mature and able to give a lot more pleasure than a 25-year-old.”
Okay, we know where this is coming from. People defend what they have because it’s all they have and that’s all there is to it.
So don’t mind me when I make arrangements to leave the freaking country when the menopausal rages start.
The fact is that beautiful young women are at the top of the food chain, which is exactly how nature intended it.
Not that a lot of women were paying much attention when the time for pair bonding was beating the doors down. They had all the time in the world to settle down, right?
The unfortunate side to this is that for the many women who did pair bond [according to the natural order of things, which I myself ignored], their marriages failed and now they’re stuck playing catch up in a world that’s already in the past.
It’s as ridiculous as playing Lotto when middle age women go on Match.com looking for a “handsome and successful” man within two years of their age. They’re delusional, because men of that description are on the same sight looking for women in their 20′s and 30′s — and they’re not delusional.
Why the disparity?
Because a handsome and successful man of 45 can pull it off – that’s why. I don’t need to tell you why. You already know why so stop looking at me like that.
The good news for middle age women is that they can find a younger man to sleep with whenever they feel like it. So that’s good. But that’s about all that’s good about it.
Frankly, if I were an attractive 42-year-old woman in reasonably good shape I would find the best looking 25-year-old I could find and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts. Why the hell not. There’s nothing to lose but dignity, and God knows we all lose a lot of that when we age, women and men.
The only long term solution for women is to look for men 20 years their senior who will truly appreciate them for who they are — appearance and baggage notwithstanding.
But at this writing, I could not find any women on Match.com in the 40-something demographic who indicated such an interest.
In fact one woman even commented on her profile about how how much disdain she held for May-December relationships.
“And don’t contact me if you’re over 5 years of my age,” she yelled like a banshee. “I’m sick of old perverts hitting on me. I’m a beautiful 42-year-old woman and I deserve better…”
In fact the opposite is true, which is why there are so many single middle age women with blogs like planktonlife.com.