Archive for the ‘Rant’ Category

Self-love and inspiration is worth more than a thousand bent gold spoons! John F. Murray

Women often fantasize about being worshiped and adored by some imaginary Prince they read about in a fairy tale. But unlike Santa Claus and the Tooth fairy, alleviating this one requires prescription medication, like Haldol, for example.

Nonetheless, every once in a while a woman will report meeting a man who appears to fit this fantasy profile. He’s usually had an incestuous experience with his mother and now unconsciously relives the fantasy through a surrogate in the form of a pathological narcissist, who doesn’t fully grasp her actual role in his life because it’s not about his life.  It’s about what he brings to her life to make it even grander than she thinks everyone else imagines it to be.

Note: You have to keep this straight when dealing with these people, including the meds, because if you’re not careful they’ll grab  the Oxycotin, instead, to keep the fantasy strung out.

Put another way, she has to find someone damaged enough to justify the cost of being in her presence for more than 20 minutes without a cigarette break.

Most men I know have lives outside of the women they date, which is common in families where nurturing is shared rather than stolen.

Anyway, I was at a fundraiser the other night when this brunette decided to bless all of us with a surprise appearance after spending an evening in the Orion Nebula.

Her haircut was an asymmetrical black-on-black over dye, last seen on the Star Trek movie, The Wrath of Khan.

And I could swear there was a kind of luminescence hanging in the air around her head that looked like digital photographs of Holy Mary sightings over in Italy…and sometimes, Detroit.

She was accompanied by an invisible man who gave the impression of a quiet parasite on the bark of a cypress tree.

He stayed put.

He kept his eyes and ears to himself.

He didn’t wander.

He didn’t move or speak without intuiting permission.

His clothing was of subtle earth tones and unobtrusive.

This is what I mean by invisible, because by comparison, he was.

She was aware of other men, but refused to acknowledge them.

She would not interact with anyone she didn’t already know.

She came and went like the wind, as though it was natural for her to periodically mingle with life forms she herself created before disappearing back into some wormhole without a second thought.

But this creature is on a death march, because there is no wormhole other than the one she’s trapped in when she’s not on the Haldol.

The whole thing is a charade that’ll end up as a footnote in some psychiatric manual.

This is because two people are always and forever two separate and distinct people, not one thing without a padlock…no matter what star system you happen to be in.

“Look man, don’t think you’re better than me just because you’re the customer…” [and other crap from the terminally disenfranchised].

There are certain venues in every major city where service personnel act as though the customers actually work for them; places where customers must prove themselves worthy of being acknowledged.

I didn’t say served.

I said acknowledged, because that comes first.

The “serve” part sounds like slavery, so never expect it without an argument.

They just ask me to leave, but that’s me.

See, just because you walk in the door with dollar bills in your hand doesn’t mean you distinguish yourself in any way.

It should, but it doesn’t.

There’s a scene in High Fidelity where Jack Black, playing an employee at a vinyl record shop, dismisses an older “corporate guy” who comes in to buy music for his daughter. Jack doesn’t appreciate his appearance or choice in music so he verbally abuses him until he leaves with his middle finger in the air.  Of course, the move didn’t go over well with the store’s owner, John Cusack, who faced soaring electric bills, not to mention,  rent.

Nonetheless, the anti-establishment stereotype was well set.

I used to be one of those assholes, by the way.

But after I started making money, my inferiority complex fell by the wayside. Never mind the the therapy.

In view of this, here’s an abbreviated rundown of Houston establishments where many of the employees still struggle with this handicap:

Z, B, A, O C, E.

[first letters, only]

YouTube pulled this legendary video of Bill O’Reilly – ranting – from its archives late yesterday, but I managed to find it on the web: http://davidseaman.tumblr.com/post/34502555

The bottom line is that being a public figure of any kind is tough terrain. The pressure is enormous. And though you may not like Bill O’Reilly, he is nonetheless, a very talented and impassioned professional.

Successful people tend to be control freaks who are, more often than not, out of control. They are fueled by a narcissistic sense of entitlement that some refer to as delusion. To others, the behavior reflects a certain genius that won’t lie down. But whatever its source, this conviction has a way of worming its way into reality through sheer force of will; transforming fantasy into reality.

With this said, the video could have been taken of me…and as recently as, say, yesterday.

So it resonnated.

And though I never intensionally hurt anyone, the fact that I am unbelievably hard on myself sometimes manifests itself in ways that can feel like it’s directed elsewhere. 

Perhaps O’Reilly felt something similar.   

This is one for the record books, and a reminder of just how difficult it is to be perfect; particularly when everyone around you expects nothing less.