Archive for the ‘Feminism’ Category

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wlH3LKmeBo

Here we go again.

These ads must be written by a coven of angry Madison Avenue witches suffering post traumatic stress disorder after learning that their husbands are leaving them for 22-year-old strippers in the East Village.

This poor guy is so pathetic it’s laughable. His [whatever that is on his head], bankers attire and sexless body language leave one with the impression that he’d be better off dead.

But no matter how sad a state he appears to be in he STILL looks like her husband. Maybe he lover. Possibly her boyfriend! But definitely NOT her dad.

Failed, idiots.

This company’s advertising is worth watching because it represents the most blatant attempt at negatively stereotyping middle-aged men that I’ve ever seen.

 

 

 

 

…and why it’s never fair or equal. She pays her price. He pays his.

Live Dolls aren’t just 125 pounds of rubber.

They’re 5 feet 6 inches of perfectly proportioned rubber.

If they were 4’8” at this weight, they would be fat. But they’re not fat, which is one reason you can expect to pay seven thousand dollars for a typical blonde.

And when the body starts to crack, you can just order another one. Many people like to keep the same head, particularly if they like her personality.

 

In therapy you pay a trained Psychologist or M.D. to help alleviate psychological problems.

In yoga, you side-step the human condition altogether by tapping into the energy of the universe.

I dunno. It kind of sells itself…

Yoga is feminism’s answer to patriarchy.

If you disagree with me on this, you’re wrong. Not wrong because you have an opposing view, but wrong because your position on the issue is wrong. There’s a difference.

This is one reason so many drop-dead gorgeous women are packing yoga classes from coast to coast…and why certain male yoga instructors, including the revered yogi master – often from places like Cleveland – have improbable liaisons with women half their age and twice their I.Q.

There’s an angle for everything.

These guys offer an “enlightened” alternative to the baboons most women encounter in bars and nightclubs.

The popularity of yoga is really just a reaction to a food chain that appraises women at 35 the same way it did when they were 17.

Of course, at 17 they didn’t have a problem with it because there wasn’t much to criticize.

So it’s a kind of sanctuary for the disaffected.

In therapy you pay a trained Psychologist or M.D. to help alleviate psychological problems.

In yoga, you side-step the human condition altogether by joining forces with the universe; something that isn’t taught in medical school for some reason.

Yoga culture empowers women to express their sexuality under the pretext of spiritual awakening. They use the term, “awakening,” a lot because it sounds better than “fucking” in the context of higher human consciousness.

It’s also a way to buffer oneself from what is perceived to be constant, low-level patriarchal abuse.

Think packs of enlightened, confident, tuned in, empowered, intelligent and aware women with attitude and you get the sense that you’re in the middle of a war zone.

Yoga studios are places where women can express resentment without actually articulating it. These studios are often like psychological boot camps not unlike what one sees in groups like al-Qaida.

When a woman tells a man that she’s involved in “yoga,” the following message is conveyed:

“I’m enlightened, so don’t even think about fucking with me. I’m sexually open because that’s my right, but I only sleep with men who are on board with my message. I am smart, evolved, alert. I know all about shit you can’t even imagine. Fuck off if you dare walk in this class and stare at my ass just because I happen to be wearing paper-thin Lycra from Lululemon. I’m here to escape men like you. I’m here to escape judgment, superficiality, patriarchy. Of course, I do appreciate the attention, which I’ll deny under oath.”

The men who do join these classes accept the fact that they are perceived as emasculated members of an otherwise primitive gender afforded a second chance because of their efforts at maintaining cognition in the midst of what appears to be an all-out orgy.

With this in mind, I’m not sure which gender is the best adapted.

1] Radical feminism considers the male controlled capitalist hierarchy, which it describes as sexist, as the defining feature of women’s oppression [one reason women report problems achieving orgasm without a "Jackrabbit"].

2] Radical feminists believe that women can free themselves only when they have done away with what they consider an inherently oppressive and dominating patriarchal system [but they'll feign complete ignorance in exchange for money].

3] Radical feminists feel that there is a male-based authority and power structure and that it is responsible for oppression and inequality, and that as long as the system and its values are in place, society will not be able to be reformed in any significant way [just ask Chanel, Gucci, Prada and La Perla].

4] Some radical feminists see no alternatives other than the total uprooting and reconstruction of society in order to achieve their goals [the last time one of these women got a date was somewhere back in the 12th century - during some kind of plague - and that had more to do with bedside manner in exchange for a goat].

Echols, Alice (1989). Daring to be bad: radical feminism in America, 1967-1975 [Ms. Echols’ real name was George Tannenbaum. He was America’s first male-to-female transsexual, and the first case of transsexual discrimination  in the workplace after being fired from a Pittsburg steel mill for showing up in fishnets. The man who fired her was also fired after being spotted with her at a local bar.

Burger King has sponsorships with the National Football League and Nascar and tie-ins with “The Simpsons Movie.” It even came up with an Xbox game that sold more than 3.2 million copies last year.

“They hit a core demographic group — 18-to-24 males — and give them what they want,” said Bob Goldin, an executive vice president of Technomic, a food industry research and consulting firm.

Men are striking back with a vengeance – and I’m not talking about my generation – though there is some argument that we Baby-Boomers had something to do with it.

The way I see it, when you combine sexual and reproductive freedom with education and financial independence you end up with a civilization in its final hours.

I don’t mean this in any negative way, of course, but one can’t argue that it leads to fewer marriages, fewer children, and fewer arguments in favor of human perpetuity beyond one’s self.

Some consider this narcissistic, while others couch it as simple entitlement in the face of planetary extinction, without realizing their saying exactly the same thing.

Anyway, this trend has led to the creation of popular shows like “Life After People,” which boats a large following of those interested in what the neighborhood’s going to look like in 50 years…literally, 50 years.

This is something else they feel entitled to in spite of the fact that they’ll be the last human beings to see it.

In the end, I get really sick of these feminist arguments.

So what if the man comes home to an indentured servant who rubs his back, hands him a gin and tonic and generally worships him for paying the bills?

And so what if she also has to keep her mouth shut about everything else, like feelings, for example, which lighten the load for her, but make it a lot heavier for him?

And who cares if it takes a chain like Burger King to exploit the obvious in order to turn a profit? If it weren’t the truth, there would be no profit, which is bad news for women who will do whatever it takes to keep the house in Aspen, hence the ads.

[The woman in the above photograph is a model and not the actual subject of this discussion]

A close associate of mine, Dr. Anton Zegoyavich, has been kind enough tp share with me the following interview he recently conducted with a woman who claims to be a female fitness model, martial artist and accountant.  The interview covers such topics as: the merits of porn star sex, female objectivity and orgasm- on- demand.

Note: It shouldn’t surprise anyone that an unprecedented number of women have begun taking matters into their own hands where sex and everything else is concerned.

If such women happen to be over a “certain age” and can’t find the man they think they deserve; or they’re frustrated with the sexual feeding frenzy that’s become a perennial harvest for men; or angry about the backlash of feminism that’s reduced them to objects many of them help perpetuate; or have sexual addiction problems of their own, and conveniently use their frustration with men as a scapegoat for their behavior, then this begins to make sense.

Dr. Anton Zegoyavich [taken shortly after injecting himself with the female aging gene. He is 63 years old].

Dr Z:

Well, April, you look very nice…if that is, in fact, your name.

April:

My name is April. What’s your point?

Dr.Z:

Is it your first name?

April:

Does it sound like my last name?

Dr. Z:

Is it your first given name, or did you change it for some reason?

April:

Why would I change my name?

Dr Z:

Okay, let’s move on shall we. I already have more insight here than you might imagine. I warn you, I am quite alert.

April:

Look, I have a tanning appointment in 30 minutes, and you owe me two-hundred and fifty for my time, so let’s get this over with.

Dr Z:

The funds will be made available to you at the conclusion of our discussion. The tanning appointment is of no surprise to me, I assure you.

April:

What’s that supposed to mean?

Dr Z:

Let us begin, shall we? You strike me as quite aggressive, sexually.

April:

Excuse me?

Dr. Z:

I am way ahead of you, I’m afraid. Don’t be alarmed. My mind is quite active, and I will admit to you that it can be quite disconcerting to those who are accustomed to average discourse.

April:

Are you calling me an idiot you miserable little gimp?!? You look like something from outer space. I want my money! This discussion is over.

Dr. Z:

I believe you are in possession of some hormonal abnormality, or that you have injected your body with testosterone. You have morphed into something quite unusual.

April:

I haven’t injected anything into my body! Maybe you should take a look at what you injected into yours! “Unusual’ would be a nice way of describing it.

Dr. Z:

My research is of no concern of yours. I believe there is some gender identity conflict here.

April:

You’re like some creature out of a cartoon! I have a problem with what society thinks women should think and act like. That’s why you’re so confused.

Dr. Z:

Be careful. I can be quite a tiger when I am challenged.

April:

I’m shaking. I think you see what you want to see, Dr. Zegoyavich. And I think that women like me intimidate you, which is why you’re willing to pay for our time. Look at me! I’m a powerful woman. I am physically and emotionally solid. Financially secure. Independent. I have options. Sometimes I choose to exercise them. If I want an anonymous sexual liaison, for example, I have one. And until I’m too old to find lovers I enjoy, I will continue to pursue and manipulate men to get my needs met. They’re no different. They make the same assumptions you do about women. But in my case you’re both wrong. So as long as I don’t take them seriously I can use them at will. It’s only when I expect them to be something they’re not that I get into trouble. So I stay detached. My parents walked out of my life when I was six. I’m told I have a sister somewhere, but that’s all I know. So don’t sit there and suggest I don’t know anything about life, or that I should feel somehow shameful about asserting my independence.

Dr. Z:

Yes, well, it is obvious to me that you use your unresolved abandonment issue as an excuse to pursue what appears to be an advanced case of sexual addiction, which of course masks your childhood wounds. All men are set up to fail. The slightest deviation from a very exacting set of boundaries you impose on them is an indicator of imminent abandonment. This is your signal to replace them. So by the end of a given year you’ve had hundreds of lovers. This is quite fascinating. You are not unlike a wild animal, I’m afraid, and your tremendous physicality is a clear indication of a creature in defense mode, you see.

April:

Give me my fucking money before I squeeze your head off!

Dr. Z:

You and others like you are a terrible menace to us all, I assure you! Your funds are on the table next to the front door. Take them and go back into the world and feed. One day men will learn a very sad truth about what society has spawned.

April:

Men already know what society has spawned, which is why women like me exist in the first place. We were told we could have everything without sacrificing anything…and it was bullshit. Men would never dream of sacrificing so much; bearing children, cooking, cleaning, attending to the emotional needs of men as though they were our own adolescent children. Now we eat from the same plate.

Dr. Z:

You are a sociopath, Ms. April, or whatever your name is. This is what you are all becoming.

April:

What we are all becoming, Dr. Zegoyavich, or whatever your name is…

[end]