As many of you who live with women know, there are times of the month when you just have to go with it or die.
I feel for women. I really do.
Periods have to be a friggin’ nightmare. They are for me and I don’t even have them.
The cramping, bleeding, bloating, and swimming upstream in hormones that create enough turbulence to shake the wings off a jet are enough to shake my own state of mind into paralysis.
So I get it. I understand periods very well.
The problem is I never know what to say or do to stem the tide of inevitable turmoil.
Either I accept the delusions women buy into and then suffer the backlash when they call us crazy for being inconsistent, or stand my ground and prepare to be obliterated.
Of course, nothing about this is a double standard in any way, shape, form or fashion. Women are simply different and we must treat them accordingly.
In other words, this is a blatant double standard we must accept or prepare to be obliterated as I just said.
Being under fire is something men get used to, if you are willing to accept the fact that we also die 10 years before they do for some reason.
At some point, every place you frequent will become corrupted by suburbanites.
In New York, for example, clubs and restaurants closed after “bridge and tunnel” traffic destroyed the vibe.
In Houston, business models take this kind of thing into consideration so it doesn’t really matter. I guess people in Manhattan thought they’d be better insulated, but Jersey was just a bridge away.
The divide between Suburban and Urban is much worse than jarring. It’s hysterical and getting worse it would seem.
Frames of reference are light years apart. In fact, everything about big city life sets whatever happens in Suburbia in another star system.
I guess it’s like going to war for the first time. Everything is shocking until it isn’t and then your just as screwed as the rest of us.
Eventually you reach the chronological point where you can no longer approach young women without eliciting a 911 call.
I know this is tough to handle.
But the fact that you’re still living life the way you did 20 years ago doesn’t mean everyone else is also stuck in suspended animation, not that I’m judging your perennial adolescence or anything.
The fact of the matter is aging nails all of us eventually.
But the real problem with it [in this context] is that it doesn’t come with a notice in the mail.
It just happens, and there you are wandering around like an idiot.
It’s a tough adjustment, I grant you. And accepting it does require a certain level of maturity, even if you think you can afford not to.
I talk a lot about leverage assets in the middle years, and this is a prime example of where it can help.
When you accept the fact that youth [as you once knew it] is gone, and that you are now a commodity at, for example, a gallery opening, you have a much better shot at meeting someone who is also there under the pretense of art.
You are no longer the young man with endless promise, but rather a fully assembled automobile that people will appraise as such.
So choose the right color combos, strike the right engine notes and hope someone is willing to run a test drive based on what they see, because that’s all there is as far as they’re concerned.
You can work on the rest later.
In more affluent demographics, female trainers are the most sought after commodities in the human food chain, particularly for middle-aged men.
Why wouldn’t they be?
A prerequisite for employment at most upscale health-clubs is a college degree in something like Kinesiology.
So they’re educated, which is more than you can say for most strippers.
Second, they’re super ridiculously fit, unlike most wives.
And third, they have healthy lifestyle habits, so [in your mind, anyway] you won’t have to chase them down at nightclubs and pool parties at 3 in the morning.
The fantasy is a supercharged version of the woman you met at Dartmouth 25 years ago. An upgrade from the standard 6-speed to PDK with more horsepower and better suspension.
All female trainers in these environments are keenly aware of this fantasy and leverage it like a hammer of the gods.
This is why the lion’s share of clients for these women are men over 40 — and sometimes women who want to save their marriages.
Postscript: The types of men and women trainers attract has everything to do with presentation.
Trainer Stereotytpes and the Clients They Attract
1] Super hot 25 – 32 year-old female.
Clients: Men over 40
2] Chiseled man of color with attitude.
Clients: Attractive young females who know he knows how to get them in the kind of shape they want to in in to attract men like him…or him as the case may be.
3] Male or female bodybuilder.
Clients: Men and women interested in sculpting and putting on some mass.
3] Older male or female trainers without no other agenda than keeping their clients out of emergency rooms.
Clients: Normal, well-adjusted men and women over 40 who see the big picture rather than a subplot.
When a “normal, well-adjusted” [boring] young woman sees an older man dating someone her age [or is hit on herself by an older man], she often characterizes the behavior as “creepy.”
But none of this has anything whatsoever to do with the man, but rather the woman’s frustration with her own personal life.
She’s either without a significant other, or frustrated with the one she has, hoping she doesn’t have to face this kind of fate when she decides to move on.
So she’s protecting a space in time she considers hers alone.
She doesn’t want any interference from the future, or reality as the case may be.
If I told you I didn’t understand this reaction I’d be lying. I did the same thing as a young man when trying to defend my world from older affluent men who seemed to come and go with women my age at will.
I wasn’t there yet, and there was nothing I could do about it but complain.
It was what it was and I couldn’t afford it.
With this in mind, the following are it’s most common usages:
1] Young women use it against their fathers for dating women their age — and against their fathers’ friends who hit on them.
2] Older women use it against older men who won’t date them because they’re no longer young.
3] Feminist yoga Nazis use it against men because any weapon against men is a good thing.
This is the backlash all older men face when bucking the system.
It’s also blatant discrimination, sanctioned by all women for the reasons enumerated.
All men are fair game. Not that we haven’t always been the scapegoat for all of the world’s nightmares. Thank God we don’t have menstrual cycles or the shit would really hit the fan.
You definitely do not want to fuck with testosterone.
Just let us buy into our own delusions for a solid week every month and we’d be talking gender annihilation.
So back to the “creep” thing, if dating women half our age is “creepy” then tell younger women to stop dating us.
There are many reasons they do it, including the ones you imagine, so stop wasting your breath.
Do women actually think age-appropriate relationships come with money back guarantees?
Check out the latest divorce statistics — or how about the number of single women running around with kids they can’t afford because their age-appropriate husbands got sick of their emasculating bullshit and moved to another state under an assumed name.
Cry all you want. Men will take what’s available because it’s in our nature. It’s what we do and who we are, and just because women resent it doesn’t mean it’s going anywhere.
When women hand their bodies to us in the name of feminist egalitarianism, we take the bodies and forget about what the hell it’s called. All we see is availability…and now we’re opportunists; soulless scumbags with no moral compass bordering on the sociopathic.
Hey, it’s not our fault that Oxytocin doesn’t run rampant in our bloodstreams.
The regret drug. Oops. Didn’t think feelings would play a role in rough play, did you?
Frankly, it’s time all women took a long, hard look at what they’ve created.
Yes, this is their world, the one they carved out in the name of equality and then hammered over our heads for 5 decades.
So this is what hammering us over the head for 5 decades looks like…
Adam Bernaert – “Vanitas” Still Life
In its modern sense, vanity is considered a form of self-idolatry, in which one rejects a higher power for the sake of one’s own image.
Is this a slam dunk in this world or what?
Let’s look at the situation for what it is:
Baby Boomers have taken control of America.
Older affluent men now own 2 or 3 women, while older affluent women own a pool boy, a college kid, and somebody “between 22 and 25″ they met on match.com.
Single young men and women with abnormal and maladjusted future prospects.
Money in the hands of a generation that literally redefined “self” is now at the helm of a ship that won’t survive another 50 years.
Vanity is at the heart of it when you feel empowered to buy and sell people like junk bonds.
Status obsession, materialism, ego and consumerism stand as substitutes for humanity.
Our lives become defined not by our productive thoughts, social contributions and good will, but by “a superficial, delusional set of associations with the very fabric of our society that now radiates cheap romanticism, connected to vain competition, conspicuous consumption and neurotic addictions often related to physical beauty, status and superficial wealth,” observed Peter Joseph in Culture in Decline: Culture-Vanity Disorder.
Everyone is bought and sold and sold again to the next bidder in line. And for a millennial generation without jobs, you can see where opportunism and vanity spawn a New World Order of irreconcilable decline where the here and now is all there is…or will ever be.
Now I’ll shut up.
Here we go again.
These ads must be written by a coven of angry Madison Avenue witches suffering post traumatic stress disorder after learning that their husbands are leaving them for 22-year-old strippers in the East Village.
This poor guy is so pathetic it’s laughable. His [whatever that is on his head], bankers attire and sexless body language leave one with the impression that he’d be better off dead.
But no matter how sad a state he appears to be in he STILL looks like her husband. Maybe he lover. Possibly her boyfriend! But definitely NOT her dad.
This company’s advertising is worth watching because it represents the most blatant attempt at negatively stereotyping middle-aged men that I’ve ever seen.
After a while this shit gets ridiculous.
The woman is obviously in her mid-40s, which is fine because she still looks great [but not in this photograph] for a hard-working middle-aged talk show host.
Generally speaking, I don’t care that people lie about their age.
But for someone like Handler who prides herself on coming clean about everything, and then demanding the same of her guests is beyond belief.
Now viewers focus more on the quality of her Botox injections than her performance.
Now she’s the brunt of the joke.
Gene Simmons’ “hair” is no longer a talking point.
Now everyone knows that the routine outing of guests is an effective ploy to deflect attention from herself.
I’d like to someone challenge her on the numbers, but I’m sure their appearance contract prohibits any mention of her age.
In the end, people would have far more respect for her if she just stopped embarrassing herself.
Yes, she can still attract the attention of young men — for a night, which is the crux of this whole thing: waning relevance.
Love the irony.
Older guys are always kind of giddy when they meet someone at a bar who appears to express an interest in them.
In fact, the magic is so powerful that they neglect to get anything more than a first name after sharing 2 bottles of wine and a shrimp cocktail at their expense.
They call me the next day to tell me that it finally happened: “I finally met someone I’m genuinely interested in who is also interested in me!”
Of course, the later part of the sentence is the key to the whole thing because they’re already interested in anyone young enough and hot enough like most men.
Okay, so now it’s Sunday morning and all they have is a first name and 90 minutes of conversation.
Why do you think this is?
Would it have something to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to be tracked!?!
If she was truly interested in the man she would have given him a business card and/or last name.
But because the world is wired and everyone is traceable, the less information she divulges the harder it is to put the pieces of her life together.
This is academic in today’s world.
There are several possibilities here:
1] She may want to fuck around without being labeled a slut, which means she has to protect her identity from men she may have other interests in, like money.
2] She may not want to be stalked by the guy who just bought the bottles of wine because she enjoys the wine more than the guy who bought them for her.
3] She may be playing several guys at the same time, which means that she has to become several different people. This is why many women use first and middle names, only — or middle then first names and so on when registering with Facebook and other social networking sites…but mainly, Facebook. Then she can close ranks with a few “close friends” who share in her escapades and live their own lives as other people.
4] Women married to very wealthy husbands who travel all the time are prime candidates for this type of activity. While hubby is in Brazil on business she has two or three lovers back home who only know her as “Angelle” from Adultfriendfinder: Its just fragments of data in cyberspace and nothing more.
5] Such women who are members of certain communities, like health clubs, often keep a low profiles for reasons you may not consider. One of them is anonymity. Excuses of shyness or antisocial personality disorder no longer work. Most people already know it’s about stealth.
There is a woman at my own health club who carries on two relationships at the same time — in public. How does she do this? Her husband is from a foreign country, never speaks to anyone, and travels extensively. He is not doing poker night with the boys. In fact, he is not known at all. For her part, she is virtually invisible. No on knows her name, or anything about her. In fact, most people wouldn’t even recognize her at a restaurant because her look changes like the hide of a chameleon. Thus, she is able to pull off the ruse with self-confidence and grace.
She also chooses her dates carefully, which the Internet helps parse.
Now you know why a woman may not want you to find her.
In the old days most people didn’t have access to FBI databases. Now they know your entire ancestry going back three centuries in a keystroke.
No wonder they only exist in your head.